


A car, two cops and a stardust

by pingou



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on a Tumblr Post, Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal, F/M, I blame the fandom, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-01-01 00:18:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12144366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pingou/pseuds/pingou
Summary: (The Road trip fic the Diego Luna filmography spiral made me write)As the dusty roads criss under Kes Dameron's old car, Cassian Andor lets the wind mess with his hair through the open window. Dust, sunshine, laughter, its easy to recapture the taste of days long gone.At a gas station near Corpus Chirsti, when they climb back after taking a piss, both jump out of their skins as a random brunette, eyes thunderous, hisses dangerously from the backseat :"Just pretend I'm not here."





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Starbird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbird/gifts).



> I blame the RebelCaptain fandom, Diego Luna's movies and his brotherhood with Gael Garcia Bernal, let that be said.
> 
> Read and enjoy, and please consider leaving me a few words.

As the dusty roads criss under Kes Dameron's old car, Cassian Andor lets the wind mess with his hair through the open window. Dust, sunshine, laughter, its easy to recapture the taste of days long gone.

Kes is singing slightly out of tune "Quiero qué me quieras", his fingers tapping the stirring wheel rhythmically and it's easy to forget the decade and half that has passed since their first road trip, freshly eighteen in the mountains of Mexico. Only there's less cigarettes and better booze — if quite the same amount of junk food.

Shara didn't want to go with them, so they were told to have their Buddy time, since she couldn't handle them getting all cranky and shit, her son being enough already. So Cassian handed his life's keys to Kay, and both kissed her goodbye before they hit the road.

At a gas station near Corpus Chirsti, when they climb back after taking a piss, both jump out of their skins as a random brunette, eyes thunderous, hisses dangerously from the backseat :

"Just pretend I'm not here."

She is dirty, has a split lip that is still oozing blood, but her green eyes are burning with the wilderness of desperation. Kes frowns, but before the guys can say anything, people pass in front of them — three men who have a few nasty bruises on their faces, one with a baseball bat, a female cashier and a cop — and inside she has crouched down between the seats.

The group looks like they're going out for blood — hers perhaps — so when Cassian signals silently to Kes to start the car and get out of here, he does.

Several minutes pass in silence, until Cassian tells the intruder that the coast is clear. Kes tells her to put on the seatbelt or get out (fatherhood made him a bit stricter on security rules) and they hear the telling click in return. Outside the world is still moving but you could cut the air with a knife, until Cassian feels more than she hears her exhaling her thanks. Eventually curiosity gets the best of Dameron, and he addresses the stranger as the car goes on the highway up to San Diego as if she didn't disrupt their plan:

"Even if you're not highjacking our car and just want to hide from law, you might have chosen a better one."

No acknowledgement from the backseat at all, but he sees her looking at them from the review mirror, so Cassian elaborates, much to his brother's amusement:

"For starters, the thing is a shit, Dameron here is only keeping it running for sentimental value. Also, his wife kept the proper car."

"You're the one to talk, you left your decrepit convertible under Kay's custody," Kes grumbles.

"I didn't have much choice," the woman snaps guardedly, their usual banter doing nothing to put her at ease.

"I suppose not, but then you didn't know we're both cops, did you?"

"Shit, stop the car, I gotta go," the woman panics, the hand already on the handle.

Cassian doesn't know why he turns to her, reaching out across the seat to touch her wrist. From the corner of his eye, he sees Kes rising an eyebrow, but there's a tingling feeling that makes the skin of his arm dance.

"Listen here, we're cops, but we're also going on vacation. If you're on the run, we won't report you. We'll leave you in San Diego if you wish, no question asked."

"You will?" she asks dubiously, freeing her arm from his grasp.

"We will?" Kes echoes in Spanish.

"Yes," Cassian replies sharply, glaring at his so called best friend until he nods. "C'mon, she needs help. How many girls have you known to pop up in your backseat?"

"Usually, they're relatively undressed. And far more eager to please than this one."

"Don't let Shara hear of that, Cabrón, or Poe's gonna be an only child for sure."

"Who says she's not aware already? I may be married, but you're the one living like a monk. At one time you knew how to use the restricted space of a backseat."

"Not with each other I hope," the girl chimes in dryly, while Cassian feels the tips of his ears go hot with rising blood.

"Sorry to disappoint," Kes replies with a smirk, "but we're brothers in all but blood, no that you have any business knowing that, Miss Pretend-I-don't-exist."

She purses her lips, and tries to get comfortable. Not the talkative type then. Cassian lets the radio fill the silence and tries to shut his brain off. Surely they ought to hear more about her, gather information? They are bloody detectives, for Fuck's sake.

He offers her a tissue from the glovebox and a bottle of lukewarm water for her to clean herself. She takes them, and their fingers touch slightly. The sensation is still far too potent considering the briefness of the contact, and reflexively he stares at her face, looking for an hint in her green eyes freckled with gold, but finding none. There's blood on her puffing knuckles too.

"So, did you get in a brawl with the guys there?"

"Would you believe me if I said I have nothing to do with them?"

Neither cops dignify that with an answer and she sighs. A few seconds pass once more as Kes takes a turn, then her voice graces their ears again:

"Look. D'you have a phone I can borrow before you drop me off? Sorry to bother you, but I'd like to call somebody. It's important."

A boyfriend? The possibility struck Cassian like a thunderbolt, and he feels numb from the force of it. Not because he'd care about her romantic status, but because usually he's not one to jump to conclusions. Her bruised fingers may sport no rings, it doesn't mean she's unattached though.

He hands his phone, reasoning he should have her contact in the phone memory just in case. She dials a number and Cassian doesn't even pretend he's not eavesdropping as he turns down the volume of the latest bachata tune. Kes really has a shitty taste, but it's a rule that the driver picks the music, and besides, it's not the point.

"Bodhi, it's me."

"Jyn! Jyn, where are you, are you okay? Jyn, talk to me please, tell me you're fine."

The hysteria of the man carries up to them and even sunny Kes frowns back at the woman in the rearview mirror. Cassian feels in his guts like something is really wrong, this is no hitchhiking business, or someone who stole some stuff at the gas station and didn't wish to be caught.

"Bodhi, for Heaven's sake, calm down, it'll do me no good to have you panicking over nothing. I'm fine, I got out okay, you hear me?"

"You're safe?" the man — apparently named Bodhi — asks in a tiny voice, almost childish, which puzzles Cassian a bit.

"For now I am, they're not going after me. I got a drive to San Diego, I'll search for help there, and I'm going to get you next."

"No! No it's too soon, you gotta stay under the radar, they'll be looking for you, just, just keep on moving. Just for a bit, please, don't, don't stop to San Diego or anywhere yet, just drive around, drive so they won't find you —"

Even without the speaker on, the panicked rant and the hyperventilation that seems to go with it is plainly audible in the car. The nagging feeling is back full force and Captain Andor and Sergeant Dameron look at each other over the console, knowing they've already heard too many things to retain any semblance of frivolity.

"Wait, what do you mean, drive around? I can't just stay on the move for the sake of it, I have to go and see you at some point!"

She's clearly aggravated now but a different voice, gruffier, older, calmer, feels the line suddenly, and the sound of it seems to relax the fugitive.

"Little sister, Bodhi will be okay, Chirrut and I are looking after him. It's you that needs to be careful. They are looking for your father."

That piece of information gave her an unexplainable sense of dread, clearly echoed on her features, and Cassian gets the urge to hold her hand again, to show support or something. Kes has stopped the car completely, pulled it over for now, and all his attention is focused on her distressed face too.

"It's ridiculous, I don't even know what he's up to, let alone where he is!"

"We know that, and Bodhi told them as much, but still. Stay hidden until we can pick you up, not the other way around."

Then the woman — Jyn, his mind supplies automatically — get hung upon, having received all the instruction she needed, or so the man on the other side of the line thought. Jyn is deeply troubled as she hands him the phone back and her scowl doesn't mask her shining eyes.

"I can tell the phone call hasn't gone as well as you expected then... Jyn."

"Obviously, good cop, or whatever your name is. There's not much privacy in that old piece of junk, is it?"

"Hey, I resent that!" Kes exclaims.

"Beg your pardon, it's true that beggars can't be choosers... Does fine specimen of vintage car sounds more respectful?"

Kes snorts as he turns the contact again, resuming their trip, but even as her blatant sarcasm brought a fleeting smile to Cassian's mouth, his best friend clarifies:

"You mistake my meaning, my car is a piece of junk but I'm offended because you thought Cassian was the good cop. Usually that's me! Not to mention I've driven you around so far, I think this is pretty nice of me."

"True," Jyn concedes with a nod, "and it you seems like good enough blokes, as far as cops go, but soon I'll be out of your hair. I must get going, find other ways to move further than San Diego for a few days. I guess you already knew that from my conversation, right?"

"Ignore him," Cassian says pointedly, searching for her conflicted gaze. "Whatever threat you're under, I’d be happy to help, if you think it's necessary. You're also welcome to join us, if you're put in a higher danger when traveling alone."

"Don't you mind him, he's got a hero complex. And he's paranoid," Kes interrupts at her surprised expression.

"I can tell," she mumbles, swiftly putting it back against her full lips — to hide a smile?

Cassian feels offended but doesn't say so, knowing it would just give Kes a topic to rant about, likely revealing a few intimate details to their ungrateful guest in the process. He had just wanted to do the right thing and somehow he's the one being criticized, yet again.

Dameron sees him brooding and after a heartbeat or two of uncomfortable silence, it's him who asks:

"So do you agree? Whoever is chasing you would never catch you as long as you're with us. We're rooting in a tiny village near Mexico City for a week, if you're on the run until someone reaches out, it's a sound plan."

"What would you get from it? For all you know, I might be a criminal, a thief or a murderer."

"We already know you're not above borrowing cars and getting into fistfights. And that someone likely dangerous is looking for your father. We know the name you use, your physical description, the phone number of someone named Bodhi and if needed, there's blood on the tissue. I'd say we're all better off sticking together then, keeping an eye on you, don't you think?"

Kay would have been horrified by Cassian's bluntness, disclosing the assets at their disposal like this, but he trusts Jyn and Kes isn't overly concerned either. Finally Jyn must have thought the offer worthwhile, because she nods, leaning back on her seat and reaching out to a bag of crisps next to her.

"So, where are we headed?"

"Bernal, a pueblo magico three hours away from Mexico City."


	2. Part 2 — From Texas to Las Cruces, NM. Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real Roadtrip begins, but the intruder isn't so cooperative!  
> Will you be able to pick out all the references to DL's movies? I wonder... ;-)
> 
> Please, enjoy the ride and perhaps leave me a few words?

****“So you're going to Mexico?” Jyn frowns, “But you still plan to drive all the way to San Diego? Doesn't that make a good detour?”

“Yep, more than three thousands miles in all, and around forty eight hours of driving, with only four or five stops in between. We're pretty stubborn like that.”

It's obvious she tries to envision the travel ahead, but it's true that from an outsider’s point of view, the trip in itself doesn't make much sense. If she's to stay with them, then, there's no harm in sharing little bits of information. Seeing Kes is focused on his driving and not inclined to volunteer — for once —  Cassian cranks his neck to look at her, preparing to be as concise as possible:

“You're obviously allowed to drop out whenever you wish, Jyn. We promised to turn up to San Diego, to visit an old aunt before our usual stay at Bernal in the state of Querétaro. We were born there, so we usually spend a few days, enjoying the sights, the food, visit the cemetery or attend mass... that sort of thing.”

“Are you religious?” she asks, playing with some kind of rough crystal around her neck.

"Not really,” Kes answers because Cassian never really knows what to say, “we're doing stuff out of habit I guess. One time, we rolled over a vulture so Cassian buried it and I lit a candle. Wished it a better journey to the afterlife. My wife gave us shit about it, but the woman who raised us was really... spiritual and set in her ways."

“You're not related though?”

“No,” Cassian says tersely, wanting them to drop the subject, because yes, not only is he chivalrous, paranoid and superstitious, but he's also not ready to expose his nonexistent family history.

“I understand. Biologically I'm an only child, but Bodhi is my brother.”

Not her boyfriend then, though the information shouldn't make any difference to him. She doesn't elaborate on her life, and Cassian doesn't feel like prying — not right away, that is — but he  still plans to involve Kay if she stays mysterious. Kes turns off the radio completely, which doesn't bode well for her: with a driving session of more than ten hours ahead, it means that he expects his passengers to fill the silence… finally Andor would gladly take back his questionable love songs.

“So, Jyn. Mind if we chat a bit? If we are to spend the next two days together — at least — then we have to cover the basics.”

Smooth, Dameron, Cassian mouths drily, and Kes offers him an half-smile in return. Jyn isn't fooled either and her breath is close enough to reach Cassian's neck somehow, as she bends forward in the middle:

“Do we now, officer?” her wry accent — British, he surmises — bringing Kay to mind, but the tone is far too playful to be his.

“It's Sergeant Kes Dameron and Captain Cassian Andor, actually.”

“I thought you were on vacation though, and I'm in no mood for an interrogation.”

“C’mon, it's not as bad as that. We're road tripping so, let's just say we're gonna play a good old game of twenty questions, to get to know each other.”

“Your car, your rules, but I can refuse to answer whenever I wish.”

She throws a hard bargain, but it's better than nothing, so Cassian concedes:

“That's fair, but no lying.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“What did you want to do when you were a kid?”

If she'd expected to identify herself right away, she’s mistaken. Even on the fly, they're good at their job, especially Cassian, and eventually they will succeed at cracking her shell. For now they can have fun.

“I wanted to be an Astrophysicist,” she smiles — despite appearances, she's a brainy one then, and it's oddly specific for that not to be a clue. “You?”

“Kes wanted to be a singer, and I a dancer.”

“We would have been great as a two men band too, we even had a name: los Charolastras,” Dameron adds so wistfully she lets out a little chuckle. “My son is four, he wants to be a pilot.”

“My brother is one, he's the pilot,” she volunteers, like there's something funny about the words. “So, my turn, Charolastras, what food can't you stand?”

“Why? Do you plan on cooking us something as a thanks?”

“Or poison us and go on your merry way?”

“You really are paranoid, you know,” she mumbles, looking at Cassian with narrowed eyes through the mirror. “Just seemed a harmless question to me. Mine is mushrooms.”

“Avocado,” Cassian spits out while Kes sighs.

“Please don't get him started on his hate for avocados, Guacamole included, and yes, we're still Mexicans by birth. It borders on obsession. I don't have food I particularly dislike. Okay, Middle name.”

She doesn't answer instantly — too close, too soon then — but to their surprise, she says:

“I tend to change if I need to, but since you know my name is Jyn, I'll just say I'm biologically named after my mother and leave it as that.”

Well, she's not avoiding the question and likely not lying either, so Kes smiles appreciatively as he answers:

“Mine is Rodrigo and Cassian's is Jerón. Your turn, cabrón.”

“What's your nickname?”

“I don't have one these days. My friends call me little sister, my guardian used to call me child, when he felt particularly warm, but… my parents, they called me Stardust.”

There's a mine of information here, from the order she gave to the way she phrased it and even the nickname themselves. Cassian commits it all to memory before he replies:

“I hate being called Cass, so naturally Kes and his wife call me that frequently.”

“When we were boys, in Bernal, some called you rudo, while I was cursí, remember? Hated that. Cass and Kes-adillas sounds better.”

It's absurd, but it makes everyone snigger. The question game keeps the conversation flowing, she's sassy and overall drier than Shara, and despite the situation, they are relatively clicking together, or at least they make the most of it. The drive towards San Diego is surprisingly going well, as the sun goes slowly down while they're crossing the whole of Texas.

Of course they are suspicious, but they can't force her to spill the beans or she’s sure to bolt at the nearest occasion. Cassian has taken on low-key texting Kay with the few pieces of information she'd shared — in case he could be more talkative than she is — between succinct updates to Shara on their progress.

As he gets tired, Kes is a little less easygoing though: he underestimated Jyn, he had not talked to his son since they left, and he worries about how they're gonna find things in San Diego. She seems to detect the tension slowly growing, perhaps because she's unsettled too, up to the point she admits Kes shouldn't make such a face, since she hasn't done anything truly reprehensible to them, so far:

“Technically, we could arrest you for trespassing and assault on two officers. But fate brought us together, so it will have to hold.”

“Great. I've already have too many things on my plate already. And for the record, I may have ‘popped up on your back seat’ but I have assaulted neither of you… yet.”

That gets a smile out of the guys, and Kes resumes on humming. Another quarter with the radio back on, and she dozes until they reach Las Cruces in New Mexico around 2AM. By then they are sore and Kes keeps grumbling about his burning eyes and the fact that Shara has most likely been asleep for ages along with Poe. Cassian, for one, is more than ready to take his place, because he keeps imagining who could chase her and her father. Kay said he wouldn't respond to any more texts of his as long as he has no further details to provide — not to mention he should respect his privacy, if not that of the fugitive.

After a quick stop at a drive-thru (Jyn keeps her head down and only takes a chocolate milkshake and a doughnut, that she pays cash) they switch places, Kes spreading himself in the back and closing his eyes.

Andor takes the wheel, almost feeling young again, adjusting the rear view mirror with the tiny dream catcher, a souvenir from almost another lifetime. Only there's a woman in the passenger seat, and up close, he can almost see her vibrate with tension, her eyes clearly betraying how on edge she still is.

He knows she's into rock, while he's more a folk person — curtesy of the game — so he wants to let her chose the station. More than gallantry, he counts on the soothing effects of a music that's not as atrocious as Dameron’s playlist. She politely declines, almost demurely, and while she stares at his cell phone a bit too long, she refuses it also.

“Bodhi needs his sleep and I should stick to a minimum of contact, Captain.”

“It tempts you though, if you want, you can borrow Dameron’s phone this time, if it secures you.”

“I have two cops basically escorting me, for all intents and purposes, so I’m more secure right now than I’ve been since I was a child. It’s him I worry about. But it’s nice of you to offer, the phone and letting me tag along. I appreciate it more than you know.”

“Then I wouldn’t mind knowing exactly why you’re so appreciative.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t,” Jyn smiles, but there’s no amusement behind it, “the thing is... it’s bigger than two cops and a crappy car can protect me from.”

Cassian frowns at her certainty, but doesn’t insist. Perhaps she’s right, and if not, he and Kes could persuade her, eventually. There’s still time (he doesn’t need a GPS app to know they are approximately again 10 hours away from their Californian check point) before whatever will happen next.

Once in San Diego, maybe Jyn will disappear as suddenly as she first appeared. Maybe once Kes and him will have seen Tía, it won’t matter anyway. Maybe Shara will forever regret she did not accompany them.

Either way, the answer awaits on the other side of the country, so he drives on the I-8 and hopes for the best. An inner voice that sounds a lot like Kay’s pops up likely but unpleasant scenarios at each road sign though. Kes being out for the foreseeable future means that he cannot balance his tendency to overthink things.

The city lights dance on her face every time he steals a glance at her. But, judging on her faraway yet awake demeanor, he’s not the only one silently berating himself. Nobody turned on the radio but the silence is awfully loud in the car. He knows Kes is sleeping but he doesn’t snore — Shara is pretty lucky, he guesses — yet Cassian wouldn’t mind to have some other sound besides the motor. It could be a subject of mockery, if nothing else, perhaps some more goofing, even at Kes’s expense, would ease her mind, and his in turn.

She musts be exhausted — who knows what she was doing and where was she coming from before he insisted on picking her up? — but her posture stays rigid even as her head starts to droop repeatedly.

“Jyn, you can sleep a bit, I’m the king of driving by night, you’re safe, I promise.”

“I’m never safe,” she mumbles closing her eyes, “but just in case, wake me up before you get sleepy too. I’d hate to die like this.”

“Now, who’s paranoid?”

She can’t even muster a response, and he turns the radio on mellow songs, low enough so he wouldn’t wake anyone, but it’s better than listening to his own thoughts. Cassian likes driving at night, he doesn’t need much sleep anyway and the traffic is lessened, even on such frequented highway. Next to him, she jolts awake after some time though, frowning sleepily.

“What’s wrong?”

“‘m cold.”

With a multi pocketed but sleeveless vest and a mere camisole, he would be too. Then again, he gets cold relatively easily, so he replies:

“Look Jyn, turn around and take my jacket, the blue fur coated one. I don’t need it. The car heater is not good and I’m not sure it would be safe to use.”

“If you’re sure you won’t need it, thanks.”

“No problem.”

She puts it on stiffly, the brawl at the Texan gas station plus so many hours sitting in a car likely taking their toll on her. The back of her hand hits his briefly on the driving stick and it’s like a jolt of electricity again.

She sighs — maybe it’s not just one sided then, and she’s feeling too? — snuggle in a bit beside him, and he finds this kind of cute. Then he wants to slap himself at how infatuated this looks like, but her eyes are already beginning to flutter. She’s still struggling anyhow, not the type to surrender easily, until Cassian feels obliged to say:

“Don’t be stubborn, just lie down across the seat.”

“Aye Captain,” she grumbles making him smile.


	3. Part 3 — From Arizona to Gina’s House, San Diego, CA. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They drive until their stop in San Diego and the unlikely trio solidifies somewhat.  
> (The place on the road is real, I checked it out ;-))  
> I added more Diego Luna references. Shall you pick them out?
> 
> I thank ruby-red-inky-blue (or guineapiggie as she's known here) for letting me burrow the name of Cassian's little brother from her story The World Through A Scope! Danke mein Freund.

She's whimpering incoherently, calling out to her Papa, raging about some Saw and Cassian nudges her awake before switching gears. Kes groans on the back seat, rubbing his eyes, but he holds his tongue, while, disoriented, she tries to control her breathing and toys with her necklace.

“Jyn, you're okay?”

She nods and asks where they are — Arizona, they're nearing Tacna, it's close to 9AM — they'll soon stop for breakfast. It's Cassian's treat, so no drive-thru this time, she could have something close to an English breakfast if she feels like it. She seems surprised by the offer, but she soon declares that's she's always up for a cuppa of oolong and scrambled eggs with sausage. Confirming his hypothesis about her being British, he figures that's about as much comfort as he's allowed to give her. Thankfully, it was the right thing to do since her shoulders aren't so tense anymore, and she exhales.

That’s how the trio finds itself at the Ligurta Station Restaurant, in Wellton, which is precisely crowded because renowned for its breakfasts. It's the reason why usually Cassian and the Damerons prefer to refuel before that, in Tacna. But the cops keep this to themselves as they dig in their own plates. There Kes calls home and chats a bit with a downhearted Poe — he's sick, while Papa and Uncle Cass have fun without him… — and overall it's nice to have good food, great company for all it's unexpected, and to be relatively close to San Diego.

“I don't know about you, guys, but I need the restroom.”

“Do you need us to accompany you?” Kes asks, seeing her scanning the crowd intently.

“Why, you don't trust me to return to you?”

“Trust goes both ways,” Cassian retorts and she blinks at him.

“I'd be a fool to ditch you now, you're the best cover I have, I'm just gonna pee.”

When she comes back and they're ready to drive the last portion, perhaps out of defiance, she cheekily passes each arm under theirs as they exit, making Kes chuckle. Cassian remains stone-faced, but pulls himself a bit closer to her than strictly necessary, and all three walk to the car.

Eventually, after the third rotation and last three hours of driving, they arrive at lunch time in front of the house of Gina Consuelo Alvarez Cuarón. Jyn is not the only one letting out a relieved sigh, for hers was not the only countdown, though the guys — amongst endless chatter — have not evoked it, least they bring misfortune. Charolastras _are_  superstitious creatures, perhaps, but the frailty of the happy woman welcoming them confirms they were right to hurry up.

Cassian and Jyn stand together as Kes greets the effusive lady and explains why neither Shara nor Poe are here, but things get awkward when he tries to introduce the unknown woman they came with.

"Is she your sweetheart, Cariño?" Gina asks Cassian with a serene smile.

"I'm not," Jyn answers readily, "my name is Jyn and Cassian is... we're friends."

"He's her white Knight," Kes supplies with a shit eating grin his brother can certainly punch it right off his face.

But weirdly this explanation seems to placate the old woman — like Cassian is used to be chivalrous to every damsel that appears on the back seat of car... — and after patting his hand benevolently, she gives them their space with no further comment.

Jyn asks for the phone, of course, presumably to update her people, and both brothers turn a blind eye as they entertain their host the best they can. The woman they consider like an aunt seems mortified by the fact she did not cook them anything. They downplay it, as she is the one they went to see, not her recipes, but it's clear that she's worse than she'd let on, on the phone. As she asks about little Poe, Cassian sees the proud father setting his jaw remorsefully. Suddenly he's very glad for driving as much as they did since they've left Corpus Christi, and not just for Jyn's sake.

Speaking of her, through defiantly raised, her chin quivers just a little bit after her phone call. She's quick to cover it, of course, saying a few banalities to Gina who all but beams at her, but he caught that, and Kes sent her a worried glance too. He beckons her over, and she sits besides Cassian, and while their fingers brush under the table for a few seconds, her palm is sweaty.

If only they knew what hails her, who are the people she's hiding from, and why… the scraps of information they've gathered so far aren't enough to draw any conclusions from. All through the frugal dinner, he can't help but feel frustrated, about Jyn's muteness, about Gina’s bad health, about Kes’ forced gaiety. He wishes Shara or even Kay were here, almost childishly, but there's just an old woman, two cops and a fugitive.

Cassian lends the room that is supposedly his when he stays over to Jyn, and obviously has to bunk in with Kes, something they haven't had to do — outside of work and service — since they were nineteen or so. It's obvious neither are looking forward to that aspect of recapturing the good old days. Despite having the speaker on, Cassian feels like a third wheel as soon as Kes calls his wife:

“Hello Babe, we've just arrived at Gina's, how are you both?”

“We're fine, it's nice to have our little man all to myself. Things went okay for you on the road?”

“Yep, don't worry, everything's fine, only we somewhat picked up a stray.”

Cassian mouths “whipped” to him, despite knowing Kes couldn't have kept Jyn's presence to himself if he valued his manhood, but his next answer made him throw is pillow at the married man anyway.

“Another dog? BB8 may be cute as hell, but the pup's enough already.”

“No, it's not a dog. From the looks of it, green eyes, claws, defensive attitude, it's a wayward cat. Cassian have taken quite a fancy to her I'd say.”

“Screw you Dameron!”

The traitor is laughing so much Shara senses her husband is most likely bullshitting again and she groans:

"Guys, I told you I don't want to play the referee between you. I'll leave that to Kay when you're at the precinct. Just, Cass, promise me you won't get too scratched by this wayward cat, whoever she is."

Now Cassian is internally cringing — of course Shara Bey-Dameron would have picked the analogy right away... — but he still agrees because these two busy-bodies and their son are the only family he has left. They may be overbearing, but he's glad to have them looking out for him. Wanting to give them privacy, he leaves the room, regretting the fact that he's not smoking anymore, for it would have given him something to do.

Jyn stays just on the other side of the door to their adjoining rooms. He ponders about knocking and seeing what she was up to, but then decides against it, because it would be too stalker-ish. The urges he is feeling since she appeared in the car just yesterday afternoon confuse the hell out of him and there's no need to add substance to Kes' suspicion of a crush, but she swings the door open anyway.

She wears a bathrobe that covers the essential and she's so petite it dwarfs her a little. She seems surprised to see him in the corridor and it's obvious, from the way she's (un)clothed to the towel she holds under her arm, that she plans to take a shower in the bathroom that is two doors down.

"Oh, Cassian."

“Hi, Jyn. Kes is on the phone, so I… wanted to give them privacy.”

"I'll be back in a jiffy,” she replies, showing him the towel with her chin. “So, do you want to hang out a moment?"

“Really?”

He is surprised that she didn’t hesitate to offer, considering the amount of time they've spent together in a cramped space already. Her fingers come to touch his wrist as a welcoming gesture. Her nails are cropped short, so definitely no scratches on the horizon, then, Cassian muses, having a hard time repressing his smile. Jyn musts sense something because immediately as he enters, she says, a warning in her tone:

“It's the least I can do, you would have this room for yourself if not for me, but I'm sure your brother is gonna barge in here soon anyway. He doesn't like me very much.”

He doesn't know how she got that impression. Kes didn't sound too annoyed with Shara on the phone, then again after the cat comment, Cassian didn't feel like sticking around. Maybe he would not have liked what his mocking brother has to say about Jyn — or about him, for that matter. Still, out of fairness, he replies:

“Kes likes everyone as a rule, you haven't done anything to earn his distrust so far. I'm the circumspect one.”

“I don't know about that. You don't seem cold to me,” she says, surely referring to the uncharacteristic way he came to her rescue.

"Not to you, no," he responds huskily, taking a step towards her.

"I'm glad."

These words make him happy, for some reason and as she goes to wash, he is almost smiling again.

The room hasn’t changed since the first time he’d been there. He can’t help but snoop around a little, and to his delight she had left her clothes within reach.

In her vest he finds an handful of cash, not enough to pay a plane ticket or anything, a prepaid phone with a broken screen... and in an inner pocket, some ID: Passports, green cards... there are several of them, actually, all with her photo but different names. His blood turns cold and finding two more worrisome items, he replaces all his discoveries and tries to focus on something else for now, it’d be better once his brain had processed all this evidence, calmly.

In a corner of the nice but outdated room, his preteen self is stiffly standing besides Dameron — if his hair had been way too long, Kes on the other hand, sported a shorter haircut, heavily spiked with hair gel. They were fourteen, or perhaps fifteen for Kes, still wearing black from head to toes, because they bore the full mourning of Gina’s sister, Dolores. Cassian spoke English already, while his brother had not bothered until then. They look like babies but Cassian felt world weary already and it shows, because behind him, Jyn suddenly says:

“Even I would recognize you at once, with him grinning and you frowning.”

“Christ! How can you sneak up like that?!”

“You were distracted, obviously.”

Yes, he was, but still, he’s not easily taken by surprise and it takes some skills — perhaps of the professional kind? — to manage this for the second time in a row. He notes this in the corner of his mind as he considers the granny-like nightgown she wears — it goes to her ankles — and her hair, longer than he’d thought.

"I'm so tired," she says, flopping back onto the bed, “and I'm not even the one driving.”

“Let's just say you're not the only one who's in a rush. We'll take our time once we leave San Diego. But Gina was expecting us, so we quickened the pace.”

“She seems like a nice lady. She offered me some of her granddaughter’s clothes for tomorrow, but I am fine with the clothes I got on my back. I'm not often in girlie clothing anyway… but she’s very kind.”

“Yes, she is really sweet. But she's also old and a little sick, so…”

He leaves the rest hanging up in the air, but she understands and seeing him still standing, taps the bed next to her. He comes over and sits next to her, on the mattress, his back against the wall and his legs spread in front of him.

“So, she's your aunt?”

“The same way Kes is my bro. She pulled us out of the gutter after her sister died, in Mexico. She didn't have to, did it anyway. Her husband, Alfonso, he was Spanish. Brought us there a summer, in Pamplona, when we were barely twenty, and Kes met Shara.”

“Pretty romantic.”

“Yeah, I'm not one for romance, but these two are made for each other.”

Both stare at the ceiling but it's not so bad. For all his qualities, his brother has never truly known the value of silence, of just staying besides someone and sharing the same air, for the beauty of it. He hears her breathing next to him and the sound lulls him a bit. He can't hear anything else, but he has spent so much time in the car that the vibration of the motor is still present in his body, he feels it like a tidal wave. My, he's getting older.

“You can sleep with me," she eventually whispers as he gapes at her. "Seriously Cassian, if I wanted to do the nasty, you think I'd use that line?"

“Kes would have, he probably did at some point, in fact. But I get what you mean. Thanks for the offer, but I really should get back to him. From what I recall, he likes to grab all the covers.”

“I don't,” she replies as he sits up, preparing to go, “listen, the truth is… I could use some company.”

He reads in her eyes that she's afraid of finding herself alone, in a strange place, far away from her brother and with people still on her heels for a reason she has not given yet. He has a really bad feeling about this, but he complies because it probably cost her to admit as much. He feels a rush that he really shouldn't when smiles at him, a real blinding smile that shows teeth, and if he ever had some doubts before, he can’t deny he's a total goner.

“Goodnight Cassian.”

“Sleep well, Jyn, tomorrow is another day.”

He feels stupid for telling such platitude, for a second. Only… it was what his parents used to say to him, he realizes, suddenly petrified on the mattress, while she rolls on her side. He doesn't know what it means, but he's sure it's no coincidence: he's worked too hard to suppress any unwanted reminder of his life before first grade.

There was a time when he knew Kes (his parents and the Damerons had been friends before they were even born) but he wasn't his brother yet. He had another, a toddler who had learned to walk while gripping his legs, who had been all curls and smiles, a cherub, called back to heaven far too soon. _Lord, I command you the soul of my brother Marco, so that he may be safe in your embrace, until the end of all days, Amen._

She must have sensed him crossing himself, or maybe he let out a sound, because Jyn comes unbearably closer and the clean scent of soap fills his nostrils and locks unwanted recollections — and reflexes — in the depths of his memory. He tries to put his hands somewhere, since usually he's a pillow hugger, but he doesn't know where to put them without touching hers. He pulls back hastily, force himself to sleep on his back. He's counting her evening breaths until her fingers touch his, just barely, then he drifts away.


	4. Part 4 — From Gina’s House, San Diego, CA to Tijuana, Baja, Mexico Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of going to Gina's house and having a sleepover with Jyn, Cassian reflects on the situation with a little teasing from Kes-adillas. Review if you wish to.

****After seven hours of unaltered sleep, Cassian Andor feels refreshed and ready to greet the day. Once passed the surprise of feeling a hand other than his own on his cheek, that is. If Jyn is guarded awake, she has no such reservation asleep. She was all curled against his side but doesn't stir when he stands up.

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and tiptoes out of the bedroom, like when he was a teen who didn’t want to be caught. Unfortunately, like then, it’s no use against his brother’s keen hearing and Kes opens his door as soon as Cassian passes in front of it.

“So, one night out of the car and you’ve already made your move Andor?”

“You could have fetched me if you missed me so much, cabrón.”

“Didn't need to, Poe gave me a stuffy, so I wouldn't miss him.”

“You tell me that, but you're afraid of the dark and your four years old man knows it.”

Both smile as they think of the little boy that is the legacy of the Charolastras, until suddenly Kes looks at him, and says conversationally as they reach the end of the staircase:

“You know, the collar of your shirt looks like it was drooled on and you smell kinda fruity.”

“Duly noted, Sergeant. Your point is?”

“I’m happy there’s something nice about this halt, that’s all.”

Cassian doesn’t say that nothing happened outside actually sleeping together, because to him, it meant something. He had not slept with a girl in the truest sense of the word in almost a decade, as pathetic as it is, so it’s perhaps more meaningful because they didn’t have sex. Still, he’s grateful he could offer something, some companionship, even if they were asleep half the time.

He can’t begin to explain that to Kes, or he would call him a sap, and he’d be right. They pad into the kitchen, greet Gina who's taking her pills — more than the last time they were here — with a trembling hand.

“Did you sleep well my boys? You left a room to Jyn I hope.”

“Don't worry Tía, Cassian was the perfect gentleman,” Kes assures with a teasing glint while said gentleman rolls his eyes.

They help themselves with coffee and toast and as soon as she leaves to go to the bathroom, Kes addresses the pressing issue:

“Did you get any chance talk to Jyn, cabrón? Besides the whole foreplay business?”

“No, nothing worth mentioning, why?”

“Assuming she goes along for the ride, how does she plan to cross the border?”

“She has her ID with her, several of them in fact, it’s all she brought with her apparently.”

Along with a Swiss pocket knife and a little box — a sort of sleeve he didn’t want to open — but it would best to keep this to himself for now. Let’s just say a woman should have secrets, Cassian silently mocks, knowing Kes already is too intrigued by this:

“Thief or murderer, she said. Maybe there was more truth to it than we wanted to see.”

“She doesn’t strike me like someone who would commit bloody crimes. But thievery, why not, she’s uncannily good at sneaking around.”

“Tell me about it,” Kes sighs, “if someone in the precinct knows how she played us from the very beginning, with her Houdini tricks, our credibility is over.”

“Kay knows, but I don’t think he’d rattle us out.”

“Not if you explicitly told him to shut his mouth, no. You two are an item and I believe even he puts your friendship above duty.”

“Do I detect jealousy here, Dameron? I gave you to Shara years ago, you should learn to share.”

“Oh, I know how to share just fine, these last days are proof enough, I’m just saying I find your relationship a bit too exclusive sometimes.”

“I love you too,” Cassian smirks as Gina comes back, rubbing a bandaid on her arm.

She goes to sit on the sofa, picks up her knitting and so they don't pay much attention at first when they hear Jyn coming down.

White blouse, a bit frilly, with sensible warm colored pants, her hair down, and a piece of colorful cloth in her hair… she looks beautiful, a completely different woman than the one who made irruption in their car some thirty hours ago.

“Jyn, you look… I thought you didn't like girlie stuff?”

“I don't, and I'm slightly uncomfortable, truth be told, but your aunt took my clothes away to launder, and she had this sorted out instead so… thankfully she left my vest alone.”

“What that moron tried to say, Jyn,” Kes interrupts, clearly amused, “is that you clean up nice. Now why don't you show Gina her handiwork? It'd make her happy.”

“Okay,” she agrees awkwardly, “tell me when you're ready to leave.”

“Really, Cassian,” he whispers conspiratorially in Spanish, “I know she's pretty but you could make an effort! I feel like I'm dealing with Kay here. Get a grip man.”

But Cassian is still tongue-tied seeing Jyn looking so feminine. Between her practical clothes and the conservative nightgown, he didn’t quite analyze her figure before. Lean legs for all she’s short, nice curves, shiny hair: really nice indeed.

As foreseen, their host is delighted by the change, though she is pale and slightly panting. It is like receiving a bucket of ice water, seeing Gina like this and Cassian wants to hug the illness away from her, like she used to keep his grief at bay for months, enclosing he and Kes in long and frequent hugs.

“I should have brought Poe and Shara,” his brother whispers dejectedly and Cassian can’t do anything more than putting a hand on his shoulder.

The woman who has been their savior at a time when they were left adrift is really dying. It matters little that it’s from old age, they were right to hurry. When Nadia called to say it would be judicious to make an halt to San Diego before their anniversary trip to Bernal, they knew her mother wouldn’t be the picture of health. It was to be expected expected, but it still hurts. 

Cassian would like to stay longer — should they do some grocery shopping for her? Does she has appointments? — but clearly it would be of little use, particularly without Shara or Poe. Jyn is restless already, coming up to them and whispering, face unfathomable:

“Look, does your offer still stands?”

“Which one?”

“Were you joking when you said I could cross the border with you if I wanted to?”

“You want to go along for the whole ride then? Is Cassian to thank for that?”

“Shut up, cursí,” he grows out loud while Gina has the gall to glare at them disapprovingly, making Jyn smile a bit.

“Not for the reason you imagine, Kes-adillas, but I talked to my... friends yesterday, and they thought I’d be better off with you than running on my own. And since Cass offered...”

Cassian outward groans this time, making Kes guffaw and Jyn smirks, but he nods, taking each of them by the shoulder.

“Okay then, Stardust!”

Even a blind man could have seen the flinch — the spasm, more like — that coursed through Jyn at hearing the nickname she mentioned during their first car game. Kes frowns back at her but hastily says:

“Stardust is a no go then? You said you were called that, or child and little sister, but were roughly the same age, and no family, sorry if —”

“No, no it’s fine, no harm done, you can call me stardust if you want. It would be nice to have better memories attached to that nickname anyway.”

She puts on a brave face, but her smile is a little strained still. Cassian remembers it came from her parents (she had also mentioned a guardian) so it’s likely there’s something traumatic behind such sharp reaction. Kes must have come to a similar conclusion because he says reassuringly:

“Creating good memories are our specialty, so don’t worry, it’ll be a fun ride, plus Cass will surely want invest himself _body_ and soul to the task.”

“Enough already cabrón.”

“Kes, be a good boy, fetch Jyn’s bag and put it in your car. It’s in the laundry room,” Gina chimes in, seeing Jyn and Cassian bothered.

“You must be mistaken. I have no bag.”

“Well, you do now, even if it’s just a few spare clothes and toiletries,” Gina retorts in a stern voice the Charolastras are quite familiar with, even if it’s a pale echo of her former assertive tone.

Jyn is left speechless for the first time while Kes executes himself like their aunt was the drill sergeant and not him. Cassian looks around, feeling amused when Jyn follows Kes with a dumbstruck expression.

“Gracias tía,” he says slowly, bending over to leave a shadow of a kiss against her parched cheek.

“Hush, I just ensured that she had some fresh clothes, that’s all! I saw she wore your jacket yesterday, but you’re not in high school anymore, and besides it’s no letterman jacket.”

“You should stop watching stupid teenage tv shows. Plus I was a geek, not a jock, and she’s not my girl.”

“Isn’t she really? And don’t presume to tell me what I should do or not, young Andor! Watching stupid shows is one of the few privileges of retirement.”

He keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t say he’s not likely to reach the canonical age that would enable him such harmless pleasure. Even worse, he surmises the old woman herself wouldn’t be able to indulge much longer. Her skin as taken a yellowing tinge, her hands keep trembling... Cassian knows the sound and sight of farewell and it breaks his heart to witness his oldest surrogate relative discreetly fading like this.

“Your brother is a kill-joy,” she says unperturbedly as the two other people return, brushing away Jyn’s thanks.

“Yep... and yet, his best mate Kay’s even worse.”

“Make sure you’ll keep him relatively happy then,” Gina says like Cassian was not standing right here.

Maybe it was mean to be harmless but the air is sucked out off his lungs and even Jyn purses her plush lips when Dameron replies too solemnly:

“I will.”

It’s clear after that their aunt expects them to go — they weren’t meant to stay very long. Upon departure, the brothers stall as much as they can. She gingerly extracts herself from their entwined arms, and her eyes — the same as her late sister — are brimming with tears. Cassian is used to control his emotions, all part of the job, but the sore lump in his throat is the same that makes Kes swallow harshly.

“We’ll return on our way back, Tía, so wait for us,” he says a bit too heartily, and Cassian wants to grimace at the obviousness of it.

Gina graces Dameron with a tender smile but turns stern when Jyn and him say goodbye.

“I’ll expect to see the two of you... next time.”

“I can’t promise anything,” the fugitive says awkwardly, “but, thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

They take the road again, with Kes behind the wheel. Nobody feels like speaking, the radio is off and the two cops and the woman called Stardust are each lost in their own thoughts. Cassian should be happy Jyn hasn’t vanished yet, that he has more time to solve her mysteries, but at the moment his mind is still trapped in the fourteen year old self that is immortalized in an old lady’s photograph. Shara should be with them, for Gina, and perhaps for Jyn too. Perhaps she would trust a woman more, even if marrying Kes ought to reflect not so favorably on her character, he reflects wryly.

At the U.S. Customs and Border Protection to get to Tijuana, Cassian is almost surprised to see Jyn handing out her relevant ID — green card included — considering he saw at least two ID under different names than the one they know her under, and even Kes remarks on her compliance. They were half-expecting her to crawl under the seats again and they’d joked the car wasn’t powerful enough to force the check point:

“Is this your real passport?”

"Oh, I have others, if you wish,” she says cheekily, “but that one is authentic. You already know my real name, and you're both cops, I'm not stupid."

_Jyn Lyra Erso, born in Birmingham, England, United Kingdom on October 17th 1988._

Still, it’s surprisingly considerate of her, maybe foolish, even, if she wants to hide... Of all the possibilities Cassian has thought of, the less problematic one didn’t even register. Despite her usual sass, she’s clearly nervous, even after they reach the Mexican side. She’s just not making any sense to him, he silently muses as she pockets the papers back, a little short of breath, while Dameron too gives her a puzzled glance.

“Trust goes both ways,” she declares, “I’ve trusted you, you can trust me.”

Kes sends her a sunny smile, satisfied, but she catches his eyes, and he reads the message in her green eyes: there, I took a chance, so see me safe like you swore. He nods and so does she. 

Outside, the Mexican desert awaits.


	5. Part 5 — From Tijuana to Caborca, Sonora, Mexico Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a pivotal chapter... As they progress in Mexico towards Bernal, everyone gets increasingly tense.  
> Tension overload ahead, enjoy!
> 
> Reviews are always appreciated.

****There’s a sense of homecoming as Cassian stares out the window, dust flying around, rocky mountains... more colorful houses, more colorful life. But of course the quiet in the car was starting to creep Kes out and he switched on the radio. He too seems happy to drive back to mother land, as a man’s soulful voice carries out from the speakers.

Only on air it’s actually Propuesta Indecente — one of the Damerons favorite bachata songs — and soon Kes is wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at him. Andor struggles not to burst out of laughter and he hopes Jyn doesn’t have so much grip on Spanish as to translate what these lyrics mean:

_¿Qué dirías si esta noche_

_Te seduzco en mi coche?_

_Que se empañen los vidrios_

_Y la regla es que goces_

Well, to be honest, the idea of seducing Jyn in the car tonight until glasses get fogged wouldn’t be so far fetched — nor unwelcome — but Kes is here. So as evocative as the song might be, the sudden fantasy of a flushed Jyn lying on the hood of his brother’s old mustang is nothing but a pretty image.

He squirms in the seat, dry throated and changes the song. His brother sniggers, but as Quiero qué me quieras starts — again — he is lost in the song and forgets to tease him. Jyn is on the back seat, rummaging through the bag Gina lent her but at Kes’ demand, she reaches behind her, stretching, to retrieve his old white cowboy hat.

Cassian avoids to look at her to put the thing on top of the driver’s head, however, the sight is slightly ridiculous — he exchanged this for a baseball cap as a teen — and like the car, Dameron kept it out of sentimentality, despite having outgrown both. 

He wants to broach the subject of Jyn, but he doesn’t know how. As usual, thanks to his sunny brother there’s a relative impression of carefreeness, but while she seems to be drinking the sights, the fugitive is far from sharing any kind goofing: 

Her back is upright, her shoulders squared against her seat and she looks ready to bolt, more so than she did crossing the border. He realizes he didn’t hear the sound of her voice since then and it sits ill with him: the cop in Andor wants to interrogate her and the man just wants to reach out.

They stop in Tijuana to refuel and of course, Cassian insists on putting on his matching tourist cap. He’s not really Captain Andor here, just Cass — and if Kes-adillas gets to wear his old cowboy hat, then he doesn’t get to comment on it. Jyn rolls her eyes at their antics, but agrees to get a larger head cloth than the one she has. It covers her hair, twisting safely around her neck... it looks a bit exotic to be honest, oriental almost, but she puts it on with a long acquired ease that makes him wonder.

Everything she does and doesn’t say makes him wonder, and he doesn’t like it.

Eventually, as the urgency of their reaching San Diego no longer exists — God willing — Kes decides to stretch his legs, calling his wife for a bit. Neither Cassian nor Jyn leave the car though, as he ponders on the old fashioned map that marks their spots, like a way of the cross. After all, the original plan was their yearly pilgrimage to Bernal and the brunette behind him doesn’t alter that. In any way whatsoever. Of course not.

“So, Jyn, have you ever been to Mexico?”

“No, I’ve been to Columbia for a few months, but that’s all.”

“Vacation? Work? Schooling?”

“Nope, none of that, through it was really... formative.”

Her cryptic and elusive answers are driving him madder each time. If it wasn’t leisure nor work or school, what could have been her reason for going to South America? He senses she’s not lying, but as usual she’s the opposite of forthcoming. He thinks she’s voluntarily leaving clues for him, but these pieces only serve to confuse him more. 

Kes slides in again, but he’s frowning, and the car is oddly silent. Cassian keeps his mouth shut, knowing he’d better wait for Kay’s information to provide a starting point on his probing. Meanwhile, his brother asks about their next stop — Caborca, in Sonora, still around six hours of driving — in a sullen voice that intrigues Jyn.

 “I thought you wanted to ease up on the gas pedal?”

“I thought you were on the run,” Kes retorts moodily.

“Not at present,” she answers nonplussed,”which was the point. I mean, don’t speed up on my account.”

Kes sighs and slides out again, ignoring their surprise. Cassian goes after him, and they settle for a chat by the road. His brother is fishing for something in his pockets, if they were younger it might have been a pack and a lighter, but both had quit years before. Whatever it is, he can’t find it however, and lets out a curse.

“Care to tell me what’s wrong, cabrón?”

“Should I make a list? Gina, the wayward cat, the crappy car. My son misses me.”

“Hey, it was all the same an hour ago, only you were not an ass then.”

“We’re not all as good as you for compartmentalizing, Captain Andor. We should have flown there.” 

“To Bernal?”

“Yep. Time’s short, life’s short. The sooner we are in Bernal, the sooner we can go back to our lives. I didn’t want to leave Tia.”  

Okay, so this is Kes freaking out, that Cassian can deal with. He won’t tease him or offer him platitudes, but he’d thought a phone call to Shara would have served as damage control. Clearly he’d underestimated Kes’ helplessness. He pats his shoulder, as he states:

“We knew she wasn’t great, cursí. Gina’s old.”

“Shut up rudo, old or not, it’s not okay. We’re talking about family here. Rules don’t apply.”

It’s Cassian’s turn to sigh this time, noting his brother’s petulant tone is exactly the same as little Poe’s. For all his nephew took after Shara, whining seems to be a Dameron trait.

“They do, even, perhaps especially when we don’t wish them to. She was happy to see us though, it counts for something right? And, you know, we’re gonna see her in a few days.”

“Remind me why we thought this long ass road trip was a good idea?”

“No money to spare on plane tickets.”

“Come on, this trip isn’t cheap.”

“But we wouldn’t have Jyn with us.”

“You’re clingy for a guy that picked a stray three days ago. What makes you think she won’t ditch us, now that she’d crossed the border? She may have left the car already for all we know, or better, stole it altogether.”

“Don’t be a dick. Let’s go back now, if you’re so worried she’s gonna disappear.”

“I’m not a worrier, you are.”

“Then start acting like it!”

When they get back to the car, Jyn _isn’t_ in the back seat and for a heartbeat or two, both cops are stunned, speechless. Cassian feels his blood rushing out of his cheeks for the first time in more than a decade — he is usually level headed, a good element — and it takes the horn honking to snap him out of it.

Jyn, mysterious runaway that she is, has passed behind the wheel. He sees it, yet his brain takes a whole second to process the information. Kes opens the door on the driver’ side, puzzlement written all over his face.

“What are you doing?”

“I thought you were tired of the rotation by now, so... I looked at the map. I can do my share, if that’s okay.”

She’s impassive, but her voice hints at a slight uncertainty and she avoids their eyes, fixing the road in front of her like she could start the car by sheer force of will. Cassian exhales loudly — out of relief or resignation, perhaps — and chooses to regain his place next to her, strapping himself in. Once he’s done, he gestures to Dameron to get in the car too, which he does after some stalling, and says to Jyn:

“I’m surprised by the fact that you waited for us. You could have fled.”

“With this piece of junk? Not likely. Plus, ditching cops with their own car wouldn’t help my case.”

“It sure wouldn’t,” Cassian agrees while he watches her starting the car and resuming their travel.

“You’re doing okay with this side of the road?”

“What, why,” she asks dubiously, eyes narrowing.

“You’re Brit, right? Didn’t you drive the other way around?”

“Relax, officer Kes-adillas, I’ll do fine, besides, when I first started to drive, there wasn’t any road to begin with.“

“No exactly reassuring,” he mumbles, but since he doesn’t ask for the keys, Jyn smiles.

“You’ll have your baby back as soon as we reach the next city, if you want.”

But they let her drive for three hours before they stop for the night. She looks heartened by their compliance, expecting the cops to reclaim the wheel anytime, yet Kes concentrates on chilling out and Cassian prefers to focus on his emails — okay, he might steal a glance at her profile from time to time, so what if he does? He’s just checking she’s not getting tired or stressed by the road, and she does cut a fine figure in the bright tones left by dusk.

The hotel staff they’re staying at were able to point the trio a serviceable phone, so Jyn made her mandatory call to wherever her brother lives in the States. Cassian has more luck though, and thanks to her passport, Kay managed to send him intel right on his phone, that he reads up greedily, with Kes frowning at his shoulder.

When she gets back with a taco, she picks up instantly the rise of tension in the room. For a whole minute nobody talks and Jyn finishes her food with both men staring at her.

“So, guys, what’s the plan tomorrow? I’d thought you’d have lots to chat about, why the long faces?”

“Anything we have to say, you don’t want to hear.”

“What’s wrong?”

“You tell us, Jyn, or is it Liana? You sure spent a few months in jail under that name, so do you prefer we use Kestrel?”

“Wait, how do you... you snooped around my stuff,” she asks furiously, pointing a accusative finger at Cassian.

She looks comically affronted for a common thief, but now isn’t the time to point it out, though the corner of Kes' lips is lifting.

“I did, and if you think it was wrong of me, then you should have been more open, so I didn’t have to.”

“Sorry I’m not the kind of girl who unloads a lifetime of anecdotes on car rides. Chirrut told me I could trust you on the phone, so I did, but it’s just… I wasn’t sure I could trust you and you already proved us wrong.”

The name doesn’t ring a bell at all, and the cops frown in sync, crossing their arms — it’s their classic bad cops pose, Shara usually mocks — but nobody here feels like joking. Yet another thing Jyn hides from them.

“Does he know us, then, this Chirrut?” Kes asks.

“No, I don’t think so, but he doesn’t need to, okay? I can’t explain it but he knows stuff. If he says you’re trustworthy then you are.”

“You’re nuts, and even so, if you or whoever else think we’re trustworthy, then why won’t you bloody tell us what’s going on with you?!”

“I don’t have to tell you shit!”

“God woman, we’re trying to help you!”

“I don’t ask for help, I’m managing on my own!”

“Scuse me,” Kes interrupts in a milder tone despite his own frustration, “but you _did_ hide in my car, and against all odds, we’re still dragging you with us, so...”

“Right, sorry I crashed at your Charolastras party, but for the record you insisted! Anyway I’ll be gone tomorrow.”

“We’ll see about that!” Kes retorts hotly, whereas Cassian’s ire runs so cold he’d fear frostbite.

His furor is leaving him thankfully tongue-tied, but he’s as furious as his brother. He’s just used to repress his angry bursts. She is too, but when nobody speaks or move for a few heavy seconds she storms out of the room and Cassian is so frustrated at her cowardice he can’t see straight, gripping the counter with sweaty hands.

Kes swears heartily, pours himself a drink. Cassian drinks too, four long gulps to settle his nerves. It does little. When they eventually decide to get to bed — the do need to resume the trip in a few hours — Kes pushes him towards the room next to  the one we reserved for him. When Cassian asks what the hell he’s thinking, his traitor of a brother replies:

“Our bromance means I have to interfere, so try to be persuasive with her. And man up, cause I’m planning to have phone sex or something.”

“TMI.”

“Don’t complain, if you play your cards correctly you might get hot, angry sex while I have to make do.”

“You left your wife only three days ago. She really has you by the balls.”

“Yep, I’m not ashamed of that, and I think it’s a feeling you’ll soon be familiar with Cass. Let’s just see how you’ll handle that then, at least my wife’s home, waiting meekly for me.”

“Fuck you Dameron.”

“You wish cabrón, but I’ll leave that to Erso, now shoo,” he exclaims in a cooing way, tapping on his own thighs for good measure.

“I’m not your puppy Kes,” Cassian grumbles a bit petulantly before the door closes behind him and he’s left to knock on Jyn’s room.

No answer, but she didn’t lock it, so he enters. If she doesn’t like that, she can suck it. She is already under the covers, doesn’t move an inch. She’s too still to be asleep — surely too riled up, if she’s anything like him — so he just foregoes all pretense and strands quickly across the room.

“Scoot over,” he says, taking off his shoes.

She turns her head sharply at the sound of his voice, but glares and remains motionless in the middle of the bed. Her facial expression clearly conveys her furious disbelief — no doubt she is a second away from telling him to get lost, at the very least, but Cassian doesn’t give her the time:

“Scoot over Jyn,” he repeats a little sterner, paying no heed of her murderous green eyes to lift up the blanket. 

“Leave me alone! I don’t see why I got all the way here, honestly. You’re more ruthless than a hound...”

“I’ve been told that before, but you expect me to let you keep your secrets the entire time that you're with us?" 

“I don’t have to answer you, you’re a cop, so I reckon you’re familiar with the right to silence.” 

“You’re not under arrest, so it doesn’t qualify.”

“From the way you’re behaving, I wasn’t sure. I’m just going to leave and be done with it.”

Aggravated as she may be, he is as well. She won’t have him being guilty for invading her privacy. So far he’d been nothing but awfully patient with her, and respectful of the boundaries she set. _Really Cassian?_ Kay’s dry voice interjects unexpectedly in his stormy thoughts, which makes him scowl harder. 

She still has the gal to huff at him, mumbling invectives under her breath in a language he doesn’t know of, but her body language and tone make it clear that whatever she’s saying, it’s not flattering. He wants to shake some sense into her, or kiss her mouth shut. That would be more enjoyable, at least.

Yet when he’d thought about it — and in the past seventy two hours, the fleeting image came at least twice — he didn’t picture making his move in some grubby hotel room. She’s pissed, he’s frustrated in more ways than one and despite his earlier encouragement, Kes too is probably a tad wallowing. Perhaps the stuffy Poe gave him is coming handy, he thinks dryly. If she kicks him out, then at least he would have a chance to find out.

“Look Jyn, would you stay with us if I asked?”

“Why would you?”

“I don’t know, but I want to.”

I want you, he wants to stay instead. It’s not logical but it’s true nonetheless, he doesn’t want her to vanish just yet.

“I’m not used to people sticking around when things get bad,” she retorts, reluctantly.

“Let me prove you wrong, then.”

“I’m not worth the effort Cassian, really. I should have disappeared in San Diego like I planned to.”

“Let us be the judges of that, okay? I thought we were… something of friends, by now, you and me. And Kes too.”

“Friends don’t harass each other.”

“Friends trust each other, that includes confiding in each other when they need to.”

“Maybe for you, friends give me my space.”

“You’ll have all the space you want once what’s after you clears up.”

“You really have a bad case of hero complex.”

“Maybe, but I’d be easier to placate if you let us help.”

“I’m not gonna leave tomorrow,” she answers after a short silence, dropping the matter. “I wouldn’t even know where to start, and I promised Baze I’d wait until the coast is clear. So... if you want... I’ll tell you what’s necessary come morning, with Kes.”

“Splendid, we can fill the blanks from there, I’m looking forward to it. But for now let’s get to sleep.”

He expects her to send him back to Kes, maybe bidding him good night since she has cooled down, but she simply nods and turns the light off. He does not move an inch and she doesn’t breath a word. He stares blankly at the dark ceiling and he counts his blessings when she rolls to her side, her body turned towards the door. 

He has a thought for who he just left in San Diego, and what awaits him in Bernal. Like he did the night before, he crosses himself, though he doesn’t feel the need to pray. He would have to count on his own merits to pull it through tomorrow.


	6. Part 6 — From Caborca, Sonora, Mexico to Delicias, Chihuahua Day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience... Jyn's backstory ahead.
> 
> Please enjoy reading and consider leaving a comment.

There’s palpable anticipation when Kes, Jyn and Cassian find themselves in a secluded spot in the motel they’ve just spent the night at.

Despite his innuendos from the night before, Dameron is quick to grasp the seriousness of whatever Jyn — finally — intends to disclose. After a hushed chat between the Charolastras, both are ready to hear her, with copious amounts of tea and coffee at hand, if necessary.

She swings a bit on her chair as she sits, her bag hitting the table with a clatter. She tries so hard to appear casual that it makes Cassian smirk, until she says:

“Let’s just get on with it, shall we? Tell me what you got on me and I’ll fill the blanks as I see fit.”

“You’ll fill us in as much as we ask, you mean. I’ve got quite enough of your secrets Jyn. If you trust us, then you do it all the way, there’s no in between.”

She glares at him, but Cassian holds his ground and Kes legit produces a pad and a pen, already preparing to take notes the old fashioned way. She looks cornered but she complies eventually, crossing her arms sullenly:

“My parents were scientists. He was an engineer, a prodigy who tended to put his research above anything else. She was a geologist, somewhat mystical, she’d also been a political activist at the time they had me. Long story short, when his work caught up with us, my mother paid the ultimate price. That’s how I ended up with Saw Gererra, after they... I mean, he came for me when I was eight.”

The name wouldn’t startle them if not for Kay’s data last night. Apparently the guy was pretty notorious for doing shady stuff in foreign countries, and suddenly Jyn’s secrecy makes more sense. While they did not expect her to go back that far, Kes’ eyebrows shoot up next to him, trying to picture what kind of unorthodox childhood she might have had, and gestures for her to continue:

“Saw took me around, in some cringing neighborhoods worldwide and pretty often in middle of war zones. Needless to say, I haven’t had quite the schooling my being born in the UK would imply. He was a bit of a mercenary and I picked up the job pretty early. Still I was safer with him than I would have been with my father. That’s too bad Bodhi couldn’t say the same though...”

“Hold on here, it’s confusing,” Kes interrupts.

“Told you it was bigger than what you can handle.”

“We don’t want to handle anything, just get the picture straight. So, let’s start with this Saw. Saw Gererra, right? He was a mercenary you said.”

“Of a sort. He was like, the saint patron of lost causes, only there wasn’t anything saint about him. If he knew of a conflict, he got involved.”

It’s plain to see she edits a lot of stuff, but the guy is reported deceased, so he doesn’t matter much in their grand scheme of things. Knowing bits of her past is nice and all, but it doesn’t explain why she felt obliged to hop on their car at the gas station. Besides, they somewhat got the gist of her numerous travels listed — under different names — in the file Kay somehow managed to sort out.

“And how is he linked to your current predicament?”

“He was my legal guardian. That is, not so much legal, more like official,” she corrects wryly with a bittersweet smile that makes her look wearier, harsher. “Saw didn’t abide by the constitutional laws, only counted the goals he deemed to be right, for the greater good. And sod off the souls that got corrupted in the process or even casualties that bloodied his path.”

“What do you mean, Gerrera was a terrorist?”

They knew as much already, from the file. But Jyn doesn’t know that and she may have a more nuanced perspective. Knowing her as they do by now, she doesn’t disappoint:

“Some say he was,” she says softly, “but even now I don’t think it was that. He got increasingly lost, I think, and desperate too, in his headlong rush, even after dropping me, considering what he did to Bodhi. He was a bit extreme, that’s for sure, but if anyone is involved in terrorism now, it’s my father.”

You could hear a pin drop. Her declarations were windy — for her standards — but broken, and yet there is no sound of Dameron’s pen scribbling away. Personally, Cassian is sure his brain just court-circuited or something. Jyn’s tone would not have been more neutral if she had talked about the weather, yet the loathing burns, brimming in her eyes and they know she’s dead serious this time around.

Galen Erso’s hereabouts are currently classified, he remembers reading last night. It's pretty suspicious, after all, the only piece of information they have is that some people are currently looking for him, and so her too, perhaps. Of all the possibilities that had crossed their minds yesterday, terrorism had not been on the radar.

“You have proof regarding your allegations?” Kes asks neutrally.

“What happened to trust, guys,” she accuses instantly, “if there’s no honor amongst thieves, you’re no better!”

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. We believe you, all right?”

“That’s good to know,” replies Cassian looking at his contrite best friend and the woman still agitated across from him, trying to process everything.

“I take it you don’t, Cassian? After all your pestering, you think I’m lying?”

“No, I believe you, I do. But I don’t get what the deal is, yet. I mean, you have no contact whatsoever with your father, right?”

“No,” she says curtly.

“Then I don’t get why people seeking him would force you to flee like that, even if they’re bad guys.”

“Good guys, bad guys, it’s all a matter of perspective, really. Both sides of the moral spectrum had me on the run at one point or another.”

“You’re a good target, then?” Dameron goads boldly, probably trying to provoke her.

“I’m used to be one, so take care of not becoming one too. People have the tendency to leave or die when dealing with me. You have a family.”

From anybody else, it would sound like a warning, perhaps a threat, even. Some of these declarations have already been said at the precinct, as a matter of fact. Only there’s real anguish on her face, and as much as it feels like it, they are not interrogating a suspect.

That also means they don’t have to keep their distance, so Kes shrugs, sending her a gentle smile as Cassian reaches out to squeeze her fingers curled in front of him. She doesn’t shy away from it. Instead, she grips his fingers in an iron grip that belies the calm facade she somewhat maintains and starts to rant again:

“You don’t understand, Saw used weapons, taught me how as well, but my... Galen Erso conceives mass destruction ones. He’s wanted, by cartels or separatists or religious fanatics, who knows? Or maybe it the other side that seeks him, governments, federal agencies? I don’t know!”

For one usually so collected, her tirade boarders on hysteria and more than what she’s saying, it’s her emotional state that has the two cops spooked. Gone is the funny but guarded Stardust, gone is the woman that Cassian was perhaps a tad smitten with.

“Listen Jyn, it’s not as bad as you make it to be, as far as we know. Your father’s intel is classified, not unknown in our database. That means there’s records of him somewhere, okay? Perhaps he is even working for the States, on a secret project and you might be safe from law.”

“Perhaps, but Bodhi too thought there was no harm in doing my father a favor, to help “making things right again”, to quote him verbatim. He had a job he liked, a family and he was healthy. He just had to get Galen’s message to Saw, that’s all. But nothing has been the same since.”

“What do you mean, he was hurt then?”

“Do you hear what I’m saying? Of course he was! Look, I don’t precisely know what Saw did to force the information out of Bodhi, as if he wasn't so desperately willing to share it regardless. Whatever it was, it destroyed him mentally, and I couldn’t bring him grief like that again. It took so long to patch him up after that... “

“Easy here, Jyn,” Kes coaxes slowly, using a soothing voice he had perfected on Poe, “you don’t have to rush, take your time.”

While her face remains tightly closed off, her voice shook with a pain she has more and more difficulty concealing. For Cassian too her erratic flow means the big picture is hard to grasp still, but he caught enough elements to satisfy his curiosity. Of course Dameron is nothing if not thorough, once in professional mode, so against Cassian’s protective instinct, she resumes her tale, closing her eyes:

“Truth is, when people came, I panicked okay? I’ve spent my whole life trying to ignore that I am the daughter of Galen Erso. Told you, Bodhi had already suffered so much because of my father and my guardian. Couldn’t put him through this mess again. So I bolted.”

“At the gas station?”

“No, my flat. Some guys in black knocked on the door, but Baze, our friend, was thankfully the one answering. They were asking for me, looking for my father. I fled. Ran, took the train, walked some, ended up at said station. I just wanted to get some power bars. Things escalated quickly and you know the rest.”

They might know what happened from there, but the real question was what should happen from now on. Reflexively, Cassian’s tongue toys a bit with the front of his mouth, passing on his lips, and Kes catches it as the sign of nerves it is. Sighing as he closes his pad and pours himself a caf, he asks:

“What do you plan to do then Jyn, this cannot go on forever.”

Suddenly Cassian detects too many responses dancing in her irises, making her eyes shimmer so much that she doesn’t resist when he yields to his impulse and pulls her to his chest. Soon Kes puts his hand on her shoulder from behind and looks over her head at Cassian, sincerely worried.

She has no answer to give them yet and they don't wish to push her further.

Eventually, they decide to get going, as Delicias is still far away. By a non spoken agreement, her situation is not broached again as they climb back into the car. Her long talk has apparently left her drained, and she closes her eyes in the backseat. However, Cassian is still grasping at straws, turning things around in his head, hoping he’d figure a way to piece together what he should to do about her.

Jyn’s essentially a quiet person. She can talk and banter but only in short periods of time, lest she becomes edgy. He doesn’t mind, now that he knows more about her. He is not put out by her silence anymore, now that he knows she’ll completely fill him in. He can allow her the luxury of time, now that he knows for sure they do have some to spare.

He can, he will.

“Hey, stop pendejo, who’s freaked out now? We have some time to figure her out okay?  Be professional Andor, think like the cop you are,” Kes whispers softly in Spanish, mindful to keep his voice low.

He knows that. To be truthful Cassian doesn’t fear her bolting at a moment’s notice anymore. He’s just left a little dazed by all the facts they have to ponder on.

Three hours later, in Hermosillo, they decide to rotate after pausing for a childish snacks of crisps, sandwiches and quite a few sweets. Shara would be screeching about the poor example they’d offer Poe, and Kay would surely rant about rotting teeth and the dangers of unbalanced diet and junk food in general... At this simple thought, Cassian wants to sigh already. But when Jyn is the one to ask for the wheel — she needs something to do — Dameron amazingly lets her.

Exceptionally, he’s the one upfront with her, indicating their next stop while Cassian takes the backseat and picks some random sweet to chew on. He hopes she doesn’t catch him texting a few leaks about Galen Erso to Kay. Thankfully Kes provides a good distraction as he engages in an air drumming so wild Jyn inquires:

“Do you play of an instrument guys?”

“I can strum my way on a guitar,” Cassian says immediately, to broadcast how little attention he pays to his phone, like it was some casual texting, because it’s precisely not that. “But cursí here is the real musical prodigy.”

“Hence the Charolastras...”

“Yep, I can play the guitar, banjo, ukulele, clarinet, accordion... I just like music.”

“I couldn’t tell with your horrendous sappy songs, though,” Jyn quips, igniting the guys’ laughter. “I’m impressed! My mother wanted me to learn the violin, I think, when I was a child. But I’ve forgotten everything.”

“Actually, I know some violin too, I can teach you, if you’d like?”

“Perhaps,” she smiles neutrally, keeping her tone guarded.

Cassian would like for Kes to teach her too, he’s not even envious. That would mean they would hang out around each other longer, so every scheme is good enough, as far as he’s concerned.

They arrive in Delicias at last, legs cramped and heads pounding. After a quiet dinner at Bandido's Steak House — Jyn has a fleeting smile when she sees the name, but tacos are good there — they don't check in hotels this time, but park in front of a shabby house. The city may be nice, but it's relatively unsafe to drive nightly around these parts and they're beat anyway.

She doesn't comment when Cassian conjures a key up and let them in the dusty shelter. Kes groans, already pulling out his phone then swears because he missed his son's bedtime. At first, they had planned to visit a bit, enjoy the travelling a bit more, but Jyn's talk ate too much time and energy. Rain check, Cassian thinks, trying to forget this shelter had been a friend's house once.

Enough ghosts were floating around them tonight without him adding his, so everyone acts like nothing is out of the ordinary, despite the obvious tension. To make matter worse there was no bedroom at all to share so they just lay down in sleeping bags. If with Kes alone it could have been reminiscent of their former stints, with Jyn present it's uncomfortable and he's sure the dust around is only partly to blame if he has a hard time swallowing after saying goodnight.

It's just a stop, Cassian reminds himself tiredly, staring at the ceiling with the sound of Kes breathing and Jyn wriggling near the door, always ready to flee at a moment's notice, apparently. Things will start to pick up in Fresnillo, Cassian thinks earnestly, turning on his side.

Once they meet Saba Madero, the Charolastras will cheer up, they always have a good time with their old buddy. Then they will figure out Jyn's mess, not to mention there's still Bernal to reach.

How Dameron could have thought their buddy time would be relaxing, again? It the last roadtrip he will grant him, ever, no matter how hard and long his bro pleads, Cassian swears fiercely. It's not good for his blood pressure!

Somewhere in his mind, a whisper insists dazzlingly that he was the one that reached out to Jyn, but he chooses to ignore it before drifting away.


End file.
